My Life as Miss Claire

As most of you know I was a pre-school teacher in Portsmouth, England for 12 years. I have been working with children since the age of 14 - Summer nannying job, then full time when I left school for 2 years - then onto Highbury College where i qualified as an N.N.E.B nursery Nurse

I was the first member of staff of Craneswater Day Nursery and straight in as Deputy.

We opened with just 4 children but then it grew

The nursery first opened Jan 1990 and based in Portsmouth.
then we relocated to Henderson Rd, Eastney

We started off in one of the owners rooms in her house and as more and more children (and staff started) we over took her 4 story house.. to the point where we had to move out , so the owner bought 2 derelict houses and knocked them into one purpose built nursery.
we were open all year round, just days off for Christmas and stated bank holidays and open from 8am-6pm.. I did 8-6 - even tho my shift finished at 4..i did 2 hrs of admin , paperwork and reports...

My room was for the 3-5 year olds.. I started off with 4 and twelve years later I had 25 in my class each year.

I didn't want the children calling me Miss Kelly (as I was known then) and I didn't want them calling me Claire either.. I wanted personable but still teacher status so to mix the two - Miss Claire was born

All children had to leave me to school by 4-5 yrs old knowing how to read, write, do basic math & science - this became official in the late 90s when nursery vouchers for parents came into action and all nurseries had to pass OFSTED inspections and high levels of education for 'my' age group. I was in charge of the OFSTED process and we passed with flying colors every year for the years I was running the nursery

Each day we had lessons planned, covering all four areas of education PIES (Physical, Intellectual, Emotional and Social) and it was all done through fun and play - every child that I had in my room LOVED to learn, through the way that I did it.. they all aspired to get the infamous smiley face on there work lol

As well as running the pre-school room - I was also in charge of the whole nursery as well.. we had 5 rooms - baby room (3mths-12mths) walking baby room (12mth-18mths) , Toddler room (18mths-2yrs), nursery room (2-3) and then my room. each room had the staff ratio to children in the room BUT I got sick and tired of hiring wannabe child carers who were filling in time.. I needed serious people to work with children and work in a nursery.. 

 So after much thought  I decided to train and qualify myself as an NVQ assessor (National Vocational Qualification) this system was/is similar to apprenticeships, work training through agencies.. The person studied, trained, the same as college level but all on site. All work (written and practical) set by the NVQ was assessed by me.. levels 1, 2 and 3.. I decided when they passed, failed, moved on, and then ultimately being employed.. I hired and fired so many over those past 12 years till I had a good team of dedicated nursery nurses.

So a pretty hectic life for one person.. 25 children to teach and 15 members of staff a year to train and qualify too, as well as run the nursery as a whole.  

From the first year I did music concerts for the children to perform for their parents, we hired a church hall in Portsmouth and they children did an hour long performance - using normal carols, to modern Christmas songs, and all dressed up costumes that were made by the owner. I even did solos at the end of each concert with the children as background too.. 

This stopped when we moved to the new building, as there were no local church halls for me to use, so I had to come up with another plan..and this I did...

The end Leavers BBQ...more of that in a moment

The biggest movie each summer, trips to the beach, Theater trips including "Rod, Jane & Freddy, Playbus, Pantomimes but our ULTIMATE trip was my last one in 2001..

So just a little bit of what I used to do - But for 12 years I had 25 children aging from 3 - 4 1/2 in my room (just me btw - and a helper) and every year I lost about 12 of them

Also every year I organized all the emergency services to come and talk to the children (with vehicles) police, Ambulance and Fire.. the kids LOVED this

Every year we had a change over, the moving up of children of each room to the next and we made it the end if July. This was when my older children left me to go onto school (and most of these children had been at the nursery since they were 3 months old too - VERY emotional..So I started the Leavers BBQ - the parents made the food and we had a huge party, all parents, staff & children..

Now recognize the costumes?..Michael Flatley's Lord of the Dance "Feet Of Flames" Costumes I made too, as well as teaching them the moves, the songs and they LOVED it.. biggest decision was choosing the Michael every year..

So for about a month, all you could here was this in my room , they were perfect every time they did it and cried every time they did it for their parents too xXx

now the most scariest but warmest thing of all is I have alot of my children are still with me now.. on facebook, they make up 50% of my contacts..

I have my kids still around me and it's wonderful - they are now at college, Uni, married, with children but all of them remember me and they are all successful in what they are doing.. feels good that i gave them all a great start in life and that they are all big achievers too

I set up a group page for them and I loaded up 400+ photographs for them, and most have reconnected with their first friends / girlfriends / boyfriends..its totally brilliant

Love you all loads x

Had to load this one.. a few months I reconnect with one of my girls.. she was in my last class and we were chatting and she wanted one of these x

My biggest journey so far

There are a lot of people who are in denial that their child has a problem and avoid the reality that something is wrong.

I am NOT one of those people ..

My son has Anxiety Disorder with traits of Asperger Syndrome.

I knew Jay had a problem the minute he was born. I don't really know what signs but as a mother I knew. 

I had a normal pregnancy - I went into labor on Friday 18th October. Down to every 10 minutes too.. this went on throughout the night until Saturday morning - the day my parents landed from Australia to be with me for the birth of their first grand child. By the time they knocked on the door - contractions had stopped totally.. until Sunday night - again up to every 10 minutes until Monday morning when they all stopped again. So went to the midwife that afternoon to be checked out..all is fine..no, you're not dilated, no, baby isn't coming yet..hmmm

So off home again and 2 hours later, the contractions started up again.. this time up to 5 minutes..so grab bags! and off to hospital.

After getting signed in, stripped off and into a charming gown. I was admitted into the maternity ward.. okay, long story short.. I was going to have a natural birth - no drugs except gas and air. 

2 tanks of gas and air later we ran into problems. Jay was stuck against my pelvic lip.. and with every contraction he was stuck and i started to swell..so the nurses/doctor decided to STOP my labor until swelling had gone down so they could move him.. by this stage i was semi conscious, the drugs they gave me then knocked me out totally.

I woke up 3pm the next afternoon with a epidural needle sticking out of my spine (no drug just the needle) and this sudden urge to push..no don't push, wait a bit longer.. screw that i pushed, my body told me too, so i did. 

Jay popped out, literally.. major problem tho, the cord had ripped..i had retained the placenta and the umbilical cord was 5" long and 4cm thick.. nowhere near natural..no wonder the bugger was stuck.

I was taken to surgery straight away for a spinal block, placenta removed and more than 4 dozen stitches.. cheers son! lol

So birth was not natural after all.

Over the next few weeks I then fully knew that Jay had a problem..his eyes told most of my concerns - it's like he was vacant - actually - emotionless.

 He didn't sleep .. 2 hours each time and didn't feed too well.. (nor did I for a few years either) After about 9months Jay was put onto a sleep aid..so he could get a good block of sleep - me too I can tell you..as i worked from 8-6 Mon-Fri.. luckily with my job, Jay came to work with me.

Jay developed physically ahead for his age.. he was born with 4 teeth, crawling at 4 months and walking by 8-9 months old..but no speech until he was 3-4 yrs old.

He would not take solids well, gag factor..some tastes he could do but mostly everything consisted of chicken, potato in a mush..until he was 4 yrs old.

By 18months I started to see more signs of problems he was encountering.

He could not handle being in a group of more than 3 people/children. He would scream if anyone entered his space. Not get away scream but like he was going to die. Piercing. 

Everywhere we went , we had to take a train (Thomas) he would not let it go ever, even when asleep. He would freak out totally if someone knew entered a room. If another child made a noise then he would thrash his head and scream. Bizarre behavior which triggered me to become a really strong person with battling the world of Special Services in the UK. 

I knew Jay had a problem and the battle was actually convincing people to listen and help me, so I could help Jay. I needed to know what he had wrong so i could help him, otherwise it's a vicious circle of frustration.

so first step doctor (G.P) well that's a challenge.. but after 6 months of visits, he finally gave in and at my request put Jay in for an M.R.I scan. I knew the problem was mental not physical. I had to know whether he was functioning on all 4 cylinders, as they say... so when Jay was 3 was put into the medical system waiting a scan.. (Yawn) bu i wanted to know if all was functioning correctly

while waiting I didn't sit still or be quiet either.. the doors wont open unless you knock hard..

So off to GP to ask to be referred to specialists.. mainly Autism..as I knew that this was some kind of strand of it. 

The doctors never saw what I saw, or could see what I could see.. I had worked with enough children by this point that i knew what I was talking about and no way was I in denial that my son needed help and I was going to get it.

Eventually I got appointments with a special needs pediatrician - again she couldn't see through my eyes - just another child, just another patient..but after 4 visits she finally started to see something and to shut the mother up and get her away - she referred us to seek a full diagnosis from the Autism clinic.. NOW..here's the idiotic part.. this was in 2000 .. I am STILL waiting for an appointment (regardless of me leaving the country..lol) but we never did get to the clinic.

woooooooohoooooooooooo

That day was as traumatic as anything.. a 6 hr wait of no food or drink for a 3+ yr old.. not fun.. then the trauma of needles, taped monitors to head.. a child having a melt down (or yeh he also hates band aids / plasters .. could never use them.) so all modes were taped onto his skin....finally Jay fell asleep and the scan was done - i had to wait outside etc etc.. so I could not watch the process or be there if he woke up screaming the hospital done.. and boy did he.. people having no clue what to do.. finally I stormed through the doors, pushed away the 3 nurses and quickly picked him and removed the band-aids..and gave him back Thomas.. the screaming stopped within 5 seconds!

the results came back a month later.. they did a bloody CAT scan not a MRI..black and white still pictures , showing no blood flow, or activity .. I was fuming .. I was possessed I can tell you! boy was I on that phone and instantly on people's backs and in their faces..wasn't pretty lol

back to square one..

Now at this stage of the game I had met Alan and we were about to embark on the biggest choice I have ever .. moving countries from UK to the USA and stopping everything I had fought for..but the paperwork came with me, as I knew I had to start all over again. And the trains came too - the whole box. I wasn't stripping him of everything.

Jay is routine based - everything has to be planned out and told to him. we're going here, then here, then we do this, then we do that etc etc - very military life

In June 2001 we moved to Wyoming and for the first time Jay and I were together 24-7 for a whole year..it was good for both of us

no school, no routine, no planning ..everything was gone from the life that Jay knew.

It was a very strange year..for the both of us, as i had worked full time since the age of 16 and now retired at the age of 33

after 6 months i started the school process.. as he would be starting school in September 2002

So I went to the school he would be going to - Centennial) and spoke to the teachers and within an hour they were on the phone to special ed and the same afternoon I had an appointment to meet the case manager .OMG.. I wasn't used used to this.

Met special Ed and instantly they saw what I saw with Jay

within 4 hours Jay had a space at "Normal" school..WITH 

1) Speech Therapy

2) Educational Therapy

3) Behavior Therapy

4) Para Professional

HELLO?!

I could not believe it.

No banging on doors, relentless calls..all handed to me on a plate. I was astounded by the willingness to help Jay succeed in a normal everyday life.

Jay from day one of school was on an IEP - Independent Educational Program .. with annual group meetings and assessments.

now Jay starting school wasn't easy - the screaming, hiding under tables, hiding from people, reacting to noises. to the point where Jay wore headphones for 3 years so he could work and not hear the sound of a pencil - big hate with him.

the teachers were brilliant and coped extremely well with every situation Jay pulled.

At his first evaluation it was decided to have a diagnosis done of Jay, as they had worked with him for a year and got a real understanding of him.

So they called in 2 psychologists into assess Jay at school to observe etc. (For an hour)

at the resulting meeting, they both came up with ADHD..oooh here comes the possessed woman again..

No it wasn't

so at this meeting I confronted both of these people..asking whether they work on commission for Ritalin and their reports are worthless and they could leave the meeting as they did not explore other possibilities and just like alot of kids..diagnosed and drugged up for something they haven't got.

now the IEP people saw who they were dealing with. The case manager then (reluctantly) organized a diagnosis from a Psychiatrist (a real doctor) and the following week we went to Fort Collins and after an hour and a half of him being alone with Jay .. he came out with Anxiety Disorder with traits of Asperger.. HALI-bloody-LUYAH ..finally we had the answer 

so now we can move on and get Jay's life on track

We held Jay back one year (no child gets left behind rule) and he repeated first grade, so that Jay could catch up with his education..

He couldn't read or write till the age of 7 - 8 

Last summer when school was out for 3 months of summer vacation - Jay read the Hobbit, then Fellowship of the Rings, the Two towers and then 5 books on his school program.. the first books (home choice) are not what I call kid books to read either, or small.

 Jay with his elementary teachers on his last day of school

Jay is now 13 and has just left Centennial Elementary , graduating with A's and B's 
We are so proud of everything Jay has accomplished throughout his life so far - he is the hardest working child I know that , through diversity and obstacles, he pulls of these grades  and all at grade level too - we never thought that he would get that far, and that's a hard thing to say as a parent too, as you all want your children to succeed, 

This kid.. blows me away.

He starts junior High and his IEP carries on as it has done since the age of 6.. he will have all the help he can possibly want to succeed at school, the rest now is up to him.

One thing we have done with Jay since he was old enough to understand.. responsibility..

he is in charge of his own decisions..

actions and consequences are his alone..its his choice with everything he does.. if he screws up then his choice to do so and accept the consequence..etc.. 

Jay is control of his own actions through all his decisions - he is a very black and white / true or false..there is no gray and in between .. he cannot lie to save his life..he tried and decided to come clean and confess he screwed up .. 
He still thinks in the negative first - everything is going to be bad.. he does not see the positive in anything until it thinks about it, digests it and analyzes  it to the max before he settles into what is going to happen - this I don't think will ever change

this is helping him grow stronger and more his own person and we are tough parents with boundaries and guidelines and rules and expectations for him to be the best that he can be.

I will not belly rub - hot milk and cookies with Jay, or any child.. they cannot grow if they are over protected and restricted from making their own choices, as long as they understand the consequences if they screw up..or consequences if they succeed too.. 
He is compassionate, has empathy, respect, manners and morals - something that is quickly disappearing from children today. he cooks for himself, does his own laundry, vacuums the house daily and he does NOT get an allowance - he is learning that being part of a family means helping as a family for no monetary reward. But he wants for nothing.  He saves his own money from Xmas, birthdays into a savings account to save up for his own saddle  and after the saddle, his first vehicle. He has grown up that parents are not a walking bank account and if he wants something he has to work for it and respect the value of a dollar .

Things do get easier  - you have to fight for what you want - you have to fight to get heard - but if you make enough noise finally someone will listen 

I am proud to say that my child has special needs

There is only one advocate for your child..and that is YOU

Where are you

It's a year since you left us, after two years of pain and grief

You quickly lost your fight to survive, this world you had to leave.

I've no idea where you are now or where your soul lives on

Your ashes we did scatter, your memory never gone

I saw you the other night, not a clear image, your face was hazy

In a way that I don't remember you, this dream was eerie, crazy

So many things I miss about you, not being there when I call

Your words, your love, your laugh, your care, there to listen to me, pain and all.

You so much wanted to beat it, to carry on life without any fear

Of loosing control of your body but you knew when the end was near

I'd hate to think how much you suffered, all the pain, agony and doubt

Just to see it through a little longer, what was it all for, about ?

So many things you had to except, all the doors that had to stay closed

Not letting you into your beautiful life. That's Cancer I suppose.

You flew so far to say goodbye, the last I'd see you, in health

Nothing will change my last memory of you, not for tea in China or wealth

I wish those memories were different now, I will never let go

I wish I held you longer, stronger. I wish you never had to go

So many things that I should of said, not by phone but face to face

I wish I knew where you are so then these words don't end up talking to space

I never told you that I loved you, I mean truly, not an end of a call

To look into your eyes and hold you, again into your love I would fall

Mum, I really miss you , I yearn to see you once more

But I know that will never happen, so what's all my sadness for ?

Oh yeh, your wish came true last month, a grandchild born in Oz

A part of you lives on in that country, Martin called her Madeline Roz

But sadly the family you left is falling, you've shown me now that you were the cement

As three bricks of our wall is crumbling quickly, though none of it intentionally meant

I wonder where you are now, what was there for you after all that pain

are you happy in this place, peace and solitude did you gain

You said you'd be Jay's Guardian Angel, are you watching him when I'm asleep

Can you see his beautiful face, his smile brighter than any light ?

He will never remember you being here, those memories will  disappear

The morning hugs, stories and songs, the words of love and all your tears

Oh Mum, I wish he could of known you, to experienced your love and your care

But in his diary I will tell him, all my memories with him I will share

I hope one day we shall re-unite

I hope its a long time to go

But my memories and me loving you

I will promise never to let go

I have about 50 song/lyrics that i wrote thru the years but this one was the deepest  

Our Immigration & wot pisses me off

The law is the law is the law - as they say - one rule for everyone regardless is needed

I am not a political person, or a racist person and I never post views, opinions about such matters but this has made my fume up and frustrated at people's reactions to something that they only know half the facts or data and I need to vent some, to make some realize the emotional, financial strain of being a LEGAL alien

I am seeing all these comments on twitter / facebook/myspace and its driving me to the point of frustration where only half of the data is known about what it really means to get a green card and be legal in this country and the financial steps it takes to obtain it...

Most of you know what my husband and I have been doing since 2005.. Green card Immigration. (we have been living here since 2001)

Yep 5 yrs so far working on a Green Card.

Now most of you probably don't know the full ins and outs of the LEGAL approach to doing this and how much it is costing, just the news of the new immigration laws and rules but not the full details on what actually happens if you do it by the book..which we have been doing

In 2003, we filed for our H1 and H4 status - which means that husband has an employment visa and allows him to work (H1)

The H4 is attached to that, for spouse (my son has H4 too)

Now these visas last for 3 years.. and then after the first 3 yrs you can extend for a period of time etc etc.. so while we got our H1 visa, the company husband was working for agreed to be the petitioner for our application, as we had made a life changing decision and stay here.

Next step: Immigration Lawyers - these are essential for the jargonese that all legal paperwork is written in-regardless of theme

So attorney's hired, process starts.. there are 3 stages to being approved..

First is initial filing for labor certification - this is where husband's job is advertised nationally and if any citizen can match his qualifications then it is assessed for the position.. this process takes up to 9-18 months

Second stage - biochemics/FBI and checks - the nitty gritty of personal lol.. but we have several visits to homeland security for all of this stuff - passports, birth certificates, police checks.everything you can think of, including personal family background stuff too) and appointment can take months and then results even longer - again another year or so..

THEN

Last stage - filing - all paperwork is filed with a check... actually each stage is costly - in total for 3 people (yes my son too) is around $30-35,000.00 - this includes attorney fees too

The last stage can take up to 10yrs for an answer but as husband falls in a higher class of education it can be up to 3yrs. While this stage is happening we are in limbo and we cannot leave the country till answer is given..

we tried filing in May 2008 but they ran out of green cards after giving them ALL away for free - so there were none left to apply for..then when allocated a card application spot they increased the price from $3,000 to $10,000 EACH.. timing hey and somehow ironically handy for them too.. bastards..but through hoops we jump for our dream/goal

now..

We have already gone through all of this and we were denied due to a printing error on the form.. as our names are NOT on the petition/application..it falls under the employer to appeal..they did not appeal so we lost ALOT of money .. a huge loan we have just paid off.

We were denied in September 2008

We are now at the first stage AGAIN..this time we do not pay as the laws changed, as that is now the petitioner's responsibility and luckily husband's new employer of 2 yrs now, are excellent and are doing everything they can to make this happen easier for us and all paperwork is double checked...

We have just extended, for the very LAST time our H1 & H4 visas..we have until February 2010.. and by that time the application should be nearly complete and can be filed..and in which case we are safe..so fingers crossed...

Through all the extensions of the H1 and H4 visas, we have to get new driving licenses too -these are valid to the dates of our extensions - so they have to be renewed - again we have just done that too - as well as paying for each new license we have to provide ORIGINAL documents of everything from our attorneys and letters of recommendation etc..its not simple as just getting a renewal license for us..another check to make sure we're legal.
We are half way through labor certification now and that should be complete in a few months.(hopefully September/October 2010)
2nd stage we have already done, so it wont be as strenuous (hopefully) then we shall wait and see...

So, before you see the news and the uproar of borders, immigration and some people calling it racism..think again about the people who are paying everything to to do the right thing..
yes its easy to sneak in and be illegal aliens but there has to be some sort of fairness here..
If we have to jump through hoops, then why should it only be for the ones that have an income..
We have paid taxes in this country for 9yrs now-with NO benefits whatsoever..nothing for our son, and only in the past 6 months we were allowed to start a 401K ..not once have we complained about all this money we are paying into this process (again)

So what pisses me off - firstly the time we filed and green cards were given away for free and all allocated cards were gone, then when reallocated the price for each card went up more than treble.
People whining about border control - NO, there should be control.. i come from a country where drugs, guns and terrorism are not used as an import to this country, yet when applying you are scrutinized in every question - and we did this without complaint. We have never complained about the rules/laws of this country and if paperwork says jump - we say how high?

But FFS come on people..the media and politicians are making this situation worse ..
the process is simple ..not one rule for you and one rule for him and one rule for her...etc etc.. straight across the board and equal standing to gain a life here..
If that's not the case, then where's our free green cards that were given out willy-nilly

But - if we don't abide by this process we get deported and denied to apply again.. go figure

Medal of Honor

I COULD CORRUPT YOU

(The theme song for the day - Corrupt by Depeche Mode - Gaia chose this song as it something I kept joking about when I said that i would corrupt her from now on with getting into the world of INK - I also sewed it into the Xmas stocking I made for her for Xmas 2009

Check out the video I made for her: (right click) GAIA DAY

The day of celebrating and marking Gaia's HUGE battle with Leukemia was remarkable
Jeff, my tattoo guy, was an absolute star - on his day off, he made our day absolutely brilliant.
We got there at 10am and after messing with donuts, coffee and placement, Gaia was under the needle by 10.20am.
She was brilliant, after everyone had hyped her up for pain, she was a trooper, as she had been waiting for this a long time and the meaning of this day was so special and extremely emotional..that this day had arrived and she had fought all the way here.
Deb (her Mom) and i spent most of the next few hours constantly on camera phones and I took my husband's prof camera too and all captured.
the design was perfect - taken from Depeche Mode's Violator album, I took the rose and tweaked and made it unique for her and in December, she was given the all clear of cancer news so i got busy doing the final edits, along with Jeff..at first the rose was going to have color but after Jeff's touch, we both decided that the shading was perfect as it was.

Her rose took 45mins from start to finish, then after a coffee break and foto op , it was straight back in the chair for her for tattoo #2. Jeff said it was better to go straight into the 2nd one while her own endorphins were elevated
Jeff had designed a special Leukemia ribbon for her, safety pin and drop shading, along with the date that Gaia's port came out -which she proudly wears around her neck x The ribbon was placed opposite the scar from where the port was.
This one stung alot more but she went thru it with a huge grin on her face (and tears in her eyes). The final effect is stunning.

Then it was my part of the deal - my turn to celebrate Gaia's survival.
from shoulder to elbow the rose was placed and I so didn't want this tattoo to end - I love getting them.. and with Jeff it goes by way too quick.

Jeff made it so much fun and most of all a fantastic memory for her, not so much of it being her first tattoos but the reason that we were doing it and the reason WHY she was doing it. So a huge thanx and major hug to him x (even tho i did freak him out after completing the ribbon by saying he spelled January wrong x)

A Special Day to remember that even though Leukemia can take lives, there is hope, there is a battle BUT it's not a death sentence and you can survive it - Gaia - I LOVE YOU so much and we shall be there for your graduation in May x

JEFF - The Underground Tattoo in Laramie WY  


                                             

Why I Am Here

Many of you have asked me this question and to save time (LOL) I have decided to write a short version of how I ended up in the mountains from the UK...

Sitting comfortably - coffee in hand!?

From the years 1990- 2001 I was running / managing a private day nursery in Portsmouth in the UK. in 1998 I separated from my husband and my son and I moved closer to the nursery. I stayed single - didn't want a partner etc - so lost weight (280lbs down to 140lbs) in 8 months through stresses of loosing my mother to cancer, buying and selling houses, working from 8-6 - took up kick boxing and got a crew cut and got mega fit.. anyhoo -

In the year 2000 - Alan came to the nursery to look for a place for his youngest daughter - he was in the middle of a sticky separation and had both of his younger girls to look after. So we gave him a place at the nursery so he could go to work.

After a few weeks I realized that i had alot of feelings towards him and starting making a few moves and doing the forbidden ( flirting with a parent etc) his wife was fully out of the picture in the January of 2001 and that's when it all went full speed ahead lol.. He said i was more like a hawk watching carrion and waiting for the traffic to stop so I could pounce claws out lol

We starting seeing each other and I knew that he traveled the world and what kind of life he had too.

In January - Depeche Mode had just announced they were releasing a new album (EXCITER) and he was able to find it online..so after a week I had the album..(mega snail dial up then) touring and he asked me to pick a location to go and see them - not in the UK - so i chose Denver CO. Had never been to the USA so what the hey! - he was paying LMAO - so we started to arrange for his mum to have the kids and he'd take me to see DM in the Amphitheater in Denver in June 2001

In the February he received a call from an old colleague in Wyoming, to work for 3 month in April. (not a good news for me I can tell you - new relationship and no DM!) After swallowing my pride I gave in and said we could see DM in London and he needed to work in Geology again - so off he went in April (2 days before my birthday!) his girls then, sadly, went to live with their mother.

After a few weeks Alan emailed saying that he wouldn't be back until September as there was loads of work going on but he would be back in June for a week to see the girls and me etc and that if I wanted to go out with him until September then my son and I could go for an extended holiday etc...

So head in gear, i rented out my house, gave in my notice and when he returned for the week in June I was ready - packed, everything in storage, tenants arranged.

On June 11th we flew to Denver then drove to Centennial WY and we have been here ever since! The vacation that hasn't ended!

The 2 weeks after landing we went to Denver and i got my Depeche Mode outdoor concert dream - 3 seats from the front - so close I could tell you the color of their eyes and their pants so tight I could tell their religion! F****ng awesome - So talk about ironic that all the worry about not seeing them in America and all of a sudden I live near the venue!well 3 hrs away but damn better than anything in UK..as i never got the chance there to see them

After our divorces were through - we got married on April 4th 203 at high noon in the court house in Laramie..and yep - I was all in leather! (The judge was a bit surprised I can tell you - eyes goggling everywhere!)

I sold my house in Portsmouth and put down half cash on the house we bought in Centennial.

Now we are in the BIG step to staying.

We have 1 years left on our visas and then we would have to leave the country - which we don't want to do - so our 2ND Green Card Applications are in now.. which started 6yrs ago..first one failed due to a typo and the sponsor on the form didn't appeal..($30,000 down the drain there..thanx a bunch)each application take 3 years to finalize - most applicants are taking up to 12 years - but because Alan has qualifications coming out of every pore and he's the 'only' person that can do this job we should be done alot quicker...so all donations are gladly received !!! We're looking at $15,000 for all 3 of us to stay here... the tunnels don't reach Wyoming so we are going to do it the proper way!
so that's the state of play there..we should be ready to file next year..there are 3 stages..labor certification, FBI/biochemics and nitty gritty stuff and then filing the application..then its a matter of wait (again)

Well that's it - that's why I am here..roughly I followed my heart - took a chance on a brand new relationship and made the choice ever!

I can't work until the green card so found lots to do whilst here - ranch, horses etc and I did college for a bit where I did Criminology and Criminal Justice for a few semesters so all is FANTASTIC for me - compared to life and place I left behind..I never want to go back - these mountains grab you and its hard every time we have to go to the UK for visits - I cry as soon as i get on the plane and watch the Rockies below.. this country has got me by the short and curlies and I love it xxxx

Hope that wasn't too long winded but hopefully that answers alot (if not then I am clueless and my fingers hurt now lol)

catch u all later my friends xxxxx