Where are you

It's a year since you left us, after two years of pain and grief

You quickly lost your fight to survive, this world you had to leave.

I've no idea where you are now or where your soul lives on

Your ashes we did scatter, your memory never gone

I saw you the other night, not a clear image, your face was hazy

In a way that I don't remember you, this dream was eerie, crazy

So many things I miss about you, not being there when I call

Your words, your love, your laugh, your care, there to listen to me, pain and all.

You so much wanted to beat it, to carry on life without any fear

Of loosing control of your body but you knew when the end was near

I'd hate to think how much you suffered, all the pain, agony and doubt

Just to see it through a little longer, what was it all for, about ?

So many things you had to except, all the doors that had to stay closed

Not letting you into your beautiful life. That's Cancer I suppose.

You flew so far to say goodbye, the last I'd see you, in health

Nothing will change my last memory of you, not for tea in China or wealth

I wish those memories were different now, I will never let go

I wish I held you longer, stronger. I wish you never had to go

So many things that I should of said, not by phone but face to face

I wish I knew where you are so then these words don't end up talking to space

I never told you that I loved you, I mean truly, not an end of a call

To look into your eyes and hold you, again into your love I would fall

Mum, I really miss you , I yearn to see you once more

But I know that will never happen, so what's all my sadness for ?

Oh yeh, your wish came true last month, a grandchild born in Oz

A part of you lives on in that country, Martin called her Madeline Roz

But sadly the family you left is falling, you've shown me now that you were the cement

As three bricks of our wall is crumbling quickly, though none of it intentionally meant

I wonder where you are now, what was there for you after all that pain

are you happy in this place, peace and solitude did you gain

You said you'd be Jay's Guardian Angel, are you watching him when I'm asleep

Can you see his beautiful face, his smile brighter than any light ?

He will never remember you being here, those memories will  disappear

The morning hugs, stories and songs, the words of love and all your tears

Oh Mum, I wish he could of known you, to experienced your love and your care

But in his diary I will tell him, all my memories with him I will share

I hope one day we shall re-unite

I hope its a long time to go

But my memories and me loving you

I will promise never to let go

I have about 50 song/lyrics that i wrote thru the years but this one was the deepest  

Our Immigration & wot pisses me off

The law is the law is the law - as they say - one rule for everyone regardless is needed

I am not a political person, or a racist person and I never post views, opinions about such matters but this has made my fume up and frustrated at people's reactions to something that they only know half the facts or data and I need to vent some, to make some realize the emotional, financial strain of being a LEGAL alien

I am seeing all these comments on twitter / facebook/myspace and its driving me to the point of frustration where only half of the data is known about what it really means to get a green card and be legal in this country and the financial steps it takes to obtain it...

Most of you know what my husband and I have been doing since 2005.. Green card Immigration. (we have been living here since 2001)

Yep 5 yrs so far working on a Green Card.

Now most of you probably don't know the full ins and outs of the LEGAL approach to doing this and how much it is costing, just the news of the new immigration laws and rules but not the full details on what actually happens if you do it by the book..which we have been doing

In 2003, we filed for our H1 and H4 status - which means that husband has an employment visa and allows him to work (H1)

The H4 is attached to that, for spouse (my son has H4 too)

Now these visas last for 3 years.. and then after the first 3 yrs you can extend for a period of time etc etc.. so while we got our H1 visa, the company husband was working for agreed to be the petitioner for our application, as we had made a life changing decision and stay here.

Next step: Immigration Lawyers - these are essential for the jargonese that all legal paperwork is written in-regardless of theme

So attorney's hired, process starts.. there are 3 stages to being approved..

First is initial filing for labor certification - this is where husband's job is advertised nationally and if any citizen can match his qualifications then it is assessed for the position.. this process takes up to 9-18 months

Second stage - biochemics/FBI and checks - the nitty gritty of personal lol.. but we have several visits to homeland security for all of this stuff - passports, birth certificates, police checks.everything you can think of, including personal family background stuff too) and appointment can take months and then results even longer - again another year or so..

THEN

Last stage - filing - all paperwork is filed with a check... actually each stage is costly - in total for 3 people (yes my son too) is around $30-35,000.00 - this includes attorney fees too

The last stage can take up to 10yrs for an answer but as husband falls in a higher class of education it can be up to 3yrs. While this stage is happening we are in limbo and we cannot leave the country till answer is given..

we tried filing in May 2008 but they ran out of green cards after giving them ALL away for free - so there were none left to apply for..then when allocated a card application spot they increased the price from $3,000 to $10,000 EACH.. timing hey and somehow ironically handy for them too.. bastards..but through hoops we jump for our dream/goal

now..

We have already gone through all of this and we were denied due to a printing error on the form.. as our names are NOT on the petition/application..it falls under the employer to appeal..they did not appeal so we lost ALOT of money .. a huge loan we have just paid off.

We were denied in September 2008

We are now at the first stage AGAIN..this time we do not pay as the laws changed, as that is now the petitioner's responsibility and luckily husband's new employer of 2 yrs now, are excellent and are doing everything they can to make this happen easier for us and all paperwork is double checked...

We have just extended, for the very LAST time our H1 & H4 visas..we have until February 2010.. and by that time the application should be nearly complete and can be filed..and in which case we are safe..so fingers crossed...

Through all the extensions of the H1 and H4 visas, we have to get new driving licenses too -these are valid to the dates of our extensions - so they have to be renewed - again we have just done that too - as well as paying for each new license we have to provide ORIGINAL documents of everything from our attorneys and letters of recommendation etc..its not simple as just getting a renewal license for us..another check to make sure we're legal.
We are half way through labor certification now and that should be complete in a few months.(hopefully September/October 2010)
2nd stage we have already done, so it wont be as strenuous (hopefully) then we shall wait and see...

So, before you see the news and the uproar of borders, immigration and some people calling it racism..think again about the people who are paying everything to to do the right thing..
yes its easy to sneak in and be illegal aliens but there has to be some sort of fairness here..
If we have to jump through hoops, then why should it only be for the ones that have an income..
We have paid taxes in this country for 9yrs now-with NO benefits whatsoever..nothing for our son, and only in the past 6 months we were allowed to start a 401K ..not once have we complained about all this money we are paying into this process (again)

So what pisses me off - firstly the time we filed and green cards were given away for free and all allocated cards were gone, then when reallocated the price for each card went up more than treble.
People whining about border control - NO, there should be control.. i come from a country where drugs, guns and terrorism are not used as an import to this country, yet when applying you are scrutinized in every question - and we did this without complaint. We have never complained about the rules/laws of this country and if paperwork says jump - we say how high?

But FFS come on people..the media and politicians are making this situation worse ..
the process is simple ..not one rule for you and one rule for him and one rule for her...etc etc.. straight across the board and equal standing to gain a life here..
If that's not the case, then where's our free green cards that were given out willy-nilly

But - if we don't abide by this process we get deported and denied to apply again.. go figure